Influenced by Eva Robinson

Author:Eva Robinson [Robinson, Eva]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Corey Press
Published: 2021-05-13T16:00:00+00:00

Twenty-Two

Hannah’s stomach tightened as she watched Rowan smile down at Daniel, a dark curl falling in her eyes. She was barefoot now, and the red strap of her dress had fallen down over her shoulder. She cocked her head, eyes locked on Daniel, and Hannah felt like she’d suddenly blended into the shadows.

“Daniel,” said Rowan. “You have to help me brush up on my French. I’m forgetting everything.”

He flashed her a lopsided smile. “But did you ever really learn it? I don’t remember that.”

She sauntered over to him and lowered herself into his lap, one arm around his shoulders. “Isn’t he the most beautiful man in Cambridge? Shame about the smoking, really.”

“I’m trying to quit. I don’t know what to replace it with.”

“Women,” said Rowan. “Women and more art.”

Hannah’s mouth opened and closed. And here it was—the point where she was forgotten because someone more interesting had entered the picture.

She glanced out toward Fresh Pond, tuning out Daniel and Rowan.

Suddenly the weight of her fatigue was pressing down on her. Maybe it was the champagne, maybe it was the three hours of sleep a night, but her thoughts were growing muddled, words fragmenting in her mind.

And when she closed her eyes, she felt herself floating back in time.

I’d rather die…

Senior year of high school, she’d followed Thomas Holbrook out to the bridge over the Charles. Tom had perfect cheekbones, a shaved head, and a tattoo of a crow on his bicep. He was one of the only people who was nice to her. She told him of her plans to take trains all over the world. In her mind, she’d kind of thought they were dating, despite never having kissed.

They were meant to be together. She knew that more clearly than she knew anything else she’d learned in school. She’d been in love with Tom. He was the one who’d introduced her to Herman Hesse and Kafka, and that had seemed so important at the time.

Then Rowan had shown up. She had the kind of beauty you could just stare at. And as a high school girl, what else was there? Everyone thinks high school girls are silly and dumb. If they’re pretty, then at least they have a bit of a purpose. It means they’re destined for great things.

When Hannah looked back at her own high school pictures, she cringed. Big sweaters, pimples, glasses her dad got for free from a teachers’ union.

It should not have been shocking when Tom asked Rowan to the autumn formal at the Charles Hotel instead of Hannah. Nor should it have been a shock when Rowan dumped him a few months later, and he’d wandered brokenhearted and drunk out onto that bridge, swaying over the frozen river. Girls like Rowan were made to break hearts.

And given that dumpy high school girls are not interesting to anyone, was it really so surprising what happened next? She remembered that night, the sound of ringing in her ears, like a high-pitched screaming that was driving her insane.

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